by Tomi Ruess
Recently, I was reading a Jack Reacher novel and I noticed how many times in a conversation he would answer with silence. It was powerful. Often the other person would offer more information or would quickly get the answer he or she needed in the silence that met the question.
According to Carolyn Ellis, “When used with intention and purpose, silence is a communication superpower.”
For some people, silence comes naturally. These fortunate individuals know the power of silence and they are comfortable in that silence. There are quite a few of us who need to learn the art of practicing silence. Read on for more reasons to try silence in your daily communications.
1. Silence gets people’s attention
If you have ever been in a classroom or in a group situation you have most likely experienced how silence often gets everyone’s attention. If the teacher or presenter is talking away the listeners’ minds might start to wander. When the speaker stops talking a signal goes to the brain that something has happened. All of the sudden you pay attention to try and figure out why communication has stopped. The same is true in our daily conversations. If we are silent, people take note and we gain their attention.
2. Silence can be an obvious answer
Sometimes when we communicate we say too much. We over-explain. If a question is met with silence, there is often an answer in that silence. We can also soften the blow of a negative answer by silence being the response. There is an implied “no” without any harsh words or too many words that might do more harm than good. Another example is when someone says something we don’t agree with or find offensive. If we are silent, we send a powerful message that communicates that we don’t agree or are not going along with what someone is saying.
3. Silence uses nonverbal language
Often our nonverbal language is a more powerful way of communicating than our verbal language.
According to HelpGuide.org, “It’s important to recognize, though, that it’s our nonverbal communication – our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and ton of voice – that speaks the loudest. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, and build better relationships.”
4. Silence offers empathy to others
There are times in life where silence offers empathy and understanding to others. Sometimes we don’t have the right words to communicate to someone who is struggling with a hurtful or sorrowful situation. We can show someone we care and we are there for them without using a plethora of words. We can offer comfort by our calming silence.
5. Silence is polite
We live in a society where we are constantly being barraged by noise and messages. From radio broadcasts, news channels, music in elevators, stores, and most businesses, to the rings of our phones, to the constant chatter of people around us. We often feel with so much going on we don’t have enough time to communicate what we need to communicate. We are fighting with so many other sources of noise. When we do get the chance to talk we usually feel like we have to cram every thought into a short span of time. However, when we are silent we give others a chance to speak. We show them that they matter.